FlagpoleSitta

Divorced in 2017 and haven’t had sex with anyone since. I tried with a woman I dated briefly in 2020, but couldn’t get hard. She was strange, anyway. A very odd woman. Then a month later, the pandemic started and I just haven’t had any desire to get into another relationship since.

I have had low T all my life, so I’ve never had a high sex drive to begin with. I was never a chronic masturbator. Being a r*pe survivor, I’ve always been very sexually submissive, so women never stuck around too long. I just always felt my natural position was on the bottom. I was never even into porn my whole life until around 2008 when I started dating a freaky woman who was very much into it. I started watching it only with her. But one time when she went out of town, I got curious about other genres. So I watched a little bit by myself. Slowly, over time, I started watching more and more of it without her. Gay and lesbian porn, then tranny porn, then cuckold porn. What really got me was the sissy porn. Such cute, smooth feminine men just getting pounded and taken advantage of. It reminded me of my younger days. Now I understood why he did those things to me. And that’s when I learned about the almighty “sissygasm.” By the time I realized I was watching porn everyday, it was too late. I was officially a gooner!

Pretty much since the beginning of our relationship, she had hinted that she wanted to try pegging me. She said she’s always wanted to do it but none of her previous boyfriends would let her. They all said it was “gay.” I turned her down every time for years using the same excuse. But when I found out about the sissygasm, I got real curious. I wondered if I could cum with a soft cock without touching myself while getting fucked, too. So one day I said yes. She was SO happy! We went to the sexy store, she bought a strap on and I bought a chastity cage. We went home and immediately got busy. She fucked me so good I busted my nut within the first five minutes!! I had just experienced my very first sissygasm. Mind…freakin’...BLOWN!!! 🤯 WOW!!! By far, the BEST orgasm I’ve ever had! Where had THAT been all my life? That sissygasm was so good, I ended up riding her dildo every single time she left me alone at home from that day forward. After a while, because I was now masturbating or riding that dildo four times a day, it ruined our relationship. Because that’s ALL I wanted. I completely stopped wanting sex with her because it was no where near as amazing as a sissygasm. In fact, I truly believe the sissygasm turned me gay. SHE turned me gay because SHE was the one who gave me my first one. And it was AMAZING!!! A million times better than sex I’ve ever had with ANY woman. We’d still have sex, but it was nowhere near as often or as passionate as before. Eventually, she started getting it from other guys. I never told her I knew about her affairs. That’s when I found out that her cheating actually kinda turned me on. So if I ever do get into another relationship, it will most certainly be an open one.

So now when I’m home alone and get on xHamster, I instantly get hard and sometimes I’ll goon and edge for hours. My absolute favorite porn to watch is gay, followed by tranny and sissy, Again, being a r*pe survivor, I have daddy issues. I would just love to be some daddy’s sissy boy again someday. I want to be used. I also love to watch BBC’s breed white men, turning them into their little bitches. That powerful and controlling cum dump really turns me on. Just something hot about a guy losing all control as his throbbing cock shoots yummy cum everywhere. Women’s orgasms are pretty boring compared to that.

I’ve always identified as bisexual, but ever since the divorce, I haven't had any sexual feelings towards anyone. So I suppose I can be considered asexual now. But I love to watch other people have sex and I’m fine with putting on some of my women’s clothes and just jerk off to that. So perhaps “pornosexual” is a better fit? But one thing I’m sure of now, I’m definitely gay and very much a sissy bottom bitch!

I do cross dress occasionally but mostly in private. That’s also the fault of that porn loving girlfriend I mentioned earlier. She only wore skimpy clothes all the time and I found it hot that other guys (and sometimes girls) would goon all over her every time we went out. So one year, I used Halloween as an excuse to dress like a slut just like her. She thought it would be funny and encouraged me to do it. I LOVED it!!! Those clothes made me feel like a sex object. I finally understood why women dress like that. Lots of skin showing gets your attention, but there’s just enough clothes to make you goon and wonder what she looks like without that skimpy outfit. After that, I started stealing her clothes little by little to wear when I was home alone. I’ve been (secretly) cross dressing ever since.

Aside from wearing thongs everyday, the cross dressing is mostly for me to get turned on and masturbate. I’ll even take pictures and video of myself while cross dressing to jerk off to later. Does anyone else get turned on at the sight of their own body or am I just really weird? Please let me know because I’m genuinely curious.

I hope you enjoyed my intro. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. And let me know if you have any questions.

Find me on Twitter (X) - DangerousSk8r

Also, I’m looking to visit either Taiwan or Thailand soon (I’m in the USA) if anyone is from there or has been there, please DM me! I’d love to have some more information. They seem like wonderful places! Thank you.